Monday, November 29, 2010


Piper:  "Hi mom!  I washed my hands with root beer."

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


I feel it is appropriate that as we turn indoors for the season we also turn inward to reflect. This week I'm reflecting on gratitude.

I feel gratitude for my knowledge and wisdom , hard won though it may be.
I have a good life. I am able to work and care for my daughter. My job sustains us and I can provide all that we need. My employer is generous and seeks not only to provide me with a paycheck but also a fantastic environment where I spend my days. My daughter has a team of people working daily to give her the tools for a bright future. We have a loving, and caring "family". I am healthy. Piper is healthy. We have a home.

It's not perfect. I am doing my best and some days it is not even close to what is required.


I acknowledge the gifts I have. There is bounty. There is plenty. It is enough. Today.

As we gather around our tables to join in the feast let us also remember our wealth.

I am thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

KLN the Magnificent!!

I've stated before that I'm living in a city with no family except the one I created. My friends are my family and I've created a strong one. We have a magical friend I shall call KLN the Magnificent! She and Pie have one of the BEST relationships outside of our own. She adores my girl, has the patience of a saint, and deeply desires to provide Piper with tools for her happiness and independence. I know right? You want one too, but you can't have her because she's ours!

I don't know how I became so lucky to have this woman in my life but here she is in all her glory! She loves spending time with Piper and often steps in to give me a much needed break. She just GETS it, and we all know how I feel about that! Not only is she a great friend to Piper, she's a sweet and considerate one to me. I hope I show her often just how much she means to both of us.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Piper's Dad

Piper's Dad loves her. Having a relationship with her Dad is important to her. I want what is best for her despite my own feelings and preferences. I've learned a great deal this past year of Mothering. Pie's Dad was NOT capable of caring for her (or even himself for that matter) and it was a fact I had to face and fast! Despite his objections (or hissy fits) it was clear that their visits had to be supervised. I held my ground and despite his constant pressure I maintained my resolve. For a solid 6 months I slowly increased his time with her while slowly relaxing the supervision until he was comfortable being her caregiver and I was confident that she was safe. I had seen enough improvement to allow Piper to be cared for by him alone.

It was a hard row to hoe. It meant having him in my home, and being around him more than I cared to be. It was worth it every time Piper spoke of her Father with pride. She began quoting him to me "my Dad said...". It helped me see that while his role will never be the same as mine in her life, it's a very important role.

I am committed to making my daughter's life as wonderful as it deserves to be. I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. I will shape her exposure to her father in such a way that he is able to show her the best of him and hopefully she will forget the times when she saw him at his worst.

We are still working this out, the Dad time. It's a work in process.

That, my friends, is progress.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Sometimes it just hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts that everyone in earshot of her swim class knows her name but not any of the other kids'. It hurts when the doctor/evaluator/teacher/friend/co worker asks me "can she do ___? ".  It hurts when people stare. It hurts when my friend brags about his kids progress in school. It hurts when a milestone is missed. It hurts when a child years younger has a skill she doesn't. It hurts when it's easier for someone else. It hurts.

I am so blessed that it only hurts me.