Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Piper's Dad

Piper's Dad loves her. Having a relationship with her Dad is important to her. I want what is best for her despite my own feelings and preferences. I've learned a great deal this past year of Mothering. Pie's Dad was NOT capable of caring for her (or even himself for that matter) and it was a fact I had to face and fast! Despite his objections (or hissy fits) it was clear that their visits had to be supervised. I held my ground and despite his constant pressure I maintained my resolve. For a solid 6 months I slowly increased his time with her while slowly relaxing the supervision until he was comfortable being her caregiver and I was confident that she was safe. I had seen enough improvement to allow Piper to be cared for by him alone.

It was a hard row to hoe. It meant having him in my home, and being around him more than I cared to be. It was worth it every time Piper spoke of her Father with pride. She began quoting him to me "my Dad said...". It helped me see that while his role will never be the same as mine in her life, it's a very important role.

I am committed to making my daughter's life as wonderful as it deserves to be. I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. I will shape her exposure to her father in such a way that he is able to show her the best of him and hopefully she will forget the times when she saw him at his worst.

We are still working this out, the Dad time. It's a work in process.

That, my friends, is progress.