Monday, January 4, 2010

The return of Jerkwad part 1

Soooo, with no warning but my dreams TA DA! Jerkwad has returned! How do I know? Why a text message at 1130am that says:  Can I come over for a few minutes this evening? I want to see Piper.   He's been 1000 miles away for over a month. Piper has settled into her routine. She's been doing so well. I am afraid that his return will capsize the fragile peace we've carved for ourselves.

 BLARG! I want to pretend this isn't happening to me.

She has missed him. I don't want to shut him out of her life, but he's really off kilter and I'm not comfortable with him being alone with her, he's unstable and not thinking clearly. Pie has no sense of danger and is inappropriately social, with every one. Can you say major recipe for disaster? I knew you could! I agree to let him see her because I know he loves her and I am hoping he will respect the boundaries I  am setting. Ahh, hope that's the old stinger for me; I keep hoping and hope keeps biting me in the arse.

Despite the surprise, I offered to meet him in a public place for a kid friendly dinner.

Jerkwad: after 6pm?

Me: that's too late for us, more like 5

Jerkwad: the earliest I can make it is 5:45

Me: (silent scream) looks like tonight won't work then, how about tomorrow at 5?

Jerkwad: what's the problem? I wouldn't think 45 mins would make that much difference


Jerkwad: I'm not trying to be difficult I just want to give you this stuff from my sister and visit with Pipes for a few minutes. Okay?

Me: I don't see why I should make accommodations to our schedule when you are unwilling to do the same. 5 is what works today or tomorrow.

Jerkwad: what about Wednesday then or are you too f'n busy that day too?

Me: Wednesday will not work. We have plans. (I was trying to be nice A@@hole and now you're trying to bully me? What else do you have to do? You don't have a job!!)

Jerkwad:  Will you please call me so we can talk about this?

Me: no. I don't see what there is to discuss. You didn't give me any warning. We are living a life. We have a schedule. I can offer you tomorrow at 5.

Jerkwad: Why are you unwilling to communicate? I'm not trying to be a dick. I just want to see my little girl.

Me: I am not unwilling to communicate. I am.

Jerkwad: Fine. I'll be there tomorrow. But I can't help but think you're doing this out of spite. You know Piper wants to see her dad. I didn't think you were like that

Me: ok we will see you at 5 at ___, and ___.

Jerkwad: thanks I guess

Tonight's the meet up. I am hoping for a quick visit that will satisfy his desire to see her. I am not planing on granting him anymore time with her outside of school.  In my opinion his visits must be supervised and I don't want to do it. Once the paperwork is filled and the judge hears our case then the court can decide, for now I'm just doing my best. It sucks.  

Stay tuned.....


  1. yikes, he's manipulative. hope everything goes well. presumably he'll continue the manipulative stuff at the meeting, doesn't sound like he can turn it off. so, good luck. i would just silent scream a lot and hope it ends quickly.

  2. My plan did you know? hehe